Get Started
Family History: GET STARTED
I tried to make the steps easy, doable and fun! First is the preliminary gathering, and then 3 steps.
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I have been interested in family history/genealogy since I was 11. I used to carry around a small tape recorder and interview my family members. It annoyed them occasionally but after the initial negativity they usually loved telling stories about themselves. My father passed away at a young age and I was so happy that I had hours of his voice telling stories. It has been a gift to me and my whole family. This is a fun adventure to begin! Family History is so interesting! Here are three steps to start with, anyone can do it.
Gather
To begin, start gathering what you know and what you have. Your first homework is to find that ‘box’, or that book, those old photos, or those papers that have any family information in them. Put them in one place so you can get started.
For an example of how long this may take, I visited a member of this group, Tania, years ago. She gave me her little extended family ‘box’ and every morning over four days I took photos of her family documents and old photos. I got though almost all of her keepsake box in just four days in about an hour a day. Now, all those family documents are digitized for generations to enjoy. Your box may be bigger or smaller. This may take months or just a couple of hours. Everyone’s experience will be different. It is so fun once you get started.
Stories are powerful, so I will be highlighting ideas on documenting culture, stories and everyday life. We are living history today and it is important to document our lives, but the elder generation if they are still alive is where we should focus first, if possible.
So get to your homework and find that box of documents, letters, old photos etc. Hopefully, you have a good camera on your phone since that is good enough to scan them. You may want to practice taking some photos. You don’t want glare etc. If you are not sure how to take pictures or how to scan, read the article down below or any other article about taking pictures as a scan on your phone.
Step 1
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Start by getting down what you already know. This is the only time you really need to make a decision. It is a decision between technology platforms or old fashioned paper. DO NOT feel overwhelmed at making a choice. Any choice is a good start. Just pick one!
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Below is a list of four good online options. They are solid companies, your information will not ever be lost or misused. Any choice is good. Each has benefits and it doesn't really matter. (If you do not want to worry about ever paying then stick with familysearch.org. They are also the most likely to have access to Indian and other smaller countries’ records first.) The programs below with phone apps will allow you to use part of their programs without connection to Wi-Fi. Then once you get connection it uploads the changes and work you have done. These companies have limited records from the Subcontinent, but as we add our trees, their database will grow.
Note- all of these programs minus Geni have extensive privacy filters so that living people and their information is protected. Geni is different since they are a social media platform. You can see, invite and interact with living people. Here are the top four suggestions I have.
familysearch.org is an always free online tree, run by a large non-profit. You can always have free access to their tree and records. They are the largest tree and largest gatherers of worldwide records. Presently, they have some digital Hindu records from India and many of the British records during British rule. They are hoping to get access to more Indian records to digitize. No DNA with this organization. Has mobile app. Can upload photos and audio but not video yet. (They have worldwide volunteers photographing records around the world at a rate of higher than 5 million records a day- #1 digitizer of records around the world, in the industry they are known as the “mother ship” and the middle of the ecosystem of companies). From Family Search you can search the records of My Heritage, Ancestry and other companies.
ancestry.com- this is the most known and successful for-profit genealogy company out there. They have a very large database and largest amount of individual trees. They have access to some of the same British rule records that Family Search has. They have the most used DNA tests which means more matches for you right now, especially if your family may be in Western Europe and America. At this time there is no plan for India expansion. Ancestry gives a free trial for three months and then a cost for use- there are several different levels. There is a mobile app and you can upload photos, audio and video. I would choose this one now if you want to do your DNA today.
https://www.myheritage.com is the largest tree outside of western Europe and America. It is a for-profit company and has the most members in countries in the Middle East. They are growing in all regions. They have no East Indian records at this time. The basic tree up to 250 members is free (you will get there fast believe me). They have a DNA test if you wish. Has a mobile app. No plans for India expansion yet but if we show them we are interested they would love to go there. Can upload photos, audio and video.
www.geni.com Owned by MyHeritage but very different. Think genealogy meets social media. This is a great tool if most of what you will be working with are living family members. It’s goal is to connect living family members and to get have them collaborate on building your tree. Geni is free for their basic plan which is more than enough for most. There are no historical records to search like all the other programs have, but since there aren't many from India anywhere, it doesn't really affect us. This is a fun way to get started and invite family members to join in the discovery of living relatives and add what you know about deceased loved ones. Can upload photos, audio and video. Your tree can also be put into My Heritage, since it is the same company, if you see a need in the future.
A separate non profit website has good tutorials on how to use these programs (minus Geni) https://www.thefhguide.com/index.html.
Just chose one! I confess I have an account with each one so just get started!
You can also just use a notebook, though the issue with using paper is that it doesn’t last. If this is your choice here is a link that has specific forms that you print up, the trees become very complicated without a form (https://www.vertex42.com/ExcelTemplates/family-tree-template.html). These forms might be of use as well when speaking to people and to send to others to fill out.
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Summary: Start by getting down what you already know
If you chose to use a computer program, now you need to sign up and get started on your family tree. This part is the least fun. You have to learn the program. Most are easy to use but it still takes time to figure out. DO NOT WORRY about filling in all the blanks. It is easy to feel discouraged when the program asks you all these things about your family members and you don’t even know their full names. Don't worry. This is just the beginning and the important thing is just to get down what you have to start. All of these programs are easy to edit and add to. Look back at my post on Step 1 for the Family History Guide link which has some good tutorials on these programs.
Put down what you think is true and later we will verify. (Genealogists are extremely meticulous about facts. They would never put anything down unless it was verified. Because we are using mostly digital, our trees are our working trees and so putting down what we know is fine. If this bothers you then just skip over my advice:) ) Now that you have down what you know (or think you know) you also now see what you DON’T have filled in so you know what you need to find out from others (we will be covering this in a future lesson).
Keep trying to fill in your tree as much as you can and DO NOT get discouraged. Everyone’s tree is different and we all have challenges to fill it. We aren't in a competition but on an exciting adventure of discovery.
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Review:
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So how is it going? Did you find a box? Or when looking through your box find any gems?
If you have found old photos maybe you have come across a common problem. They aren't labeled. Get an acid free pen (gel pens are good) and if you know any info about the photo, on a back corner make notes. That way any future interested people will know who is in the photo and anything important about it. If you cannot find out who they are you should still digitize them and get them uploaded so while visiting relatives you can show them the photo and ask about them. Note- once you digitize and upload to your chosen program with an App, it is easy to access these photos to show others.
Step 2- Asking Family Members For Facts and Stories
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When you have started a family pedigree (family tree) it’s time to ask family members and family friends to help you fill in the blanks. Approach family with sensitivity and patience. Some cultures do not think asking about past loved ones is appropriate. There are always family situations we don’t fully understand and hidden truths others may not want known. If someone seems sensitive, don’t push them just let them know you are interested whenever they may feel ready. Another way to encourage reluctant family members is to ask about their childhood, or questions about their cultural experiences. It is non threatening way to just get people talking.
So why are we doing this? With every generation information is lost. It is information about who we are. Information about our legacy and history. We are trying to save our family’s and culture’s history. History is always more important when it is about OUR FAMILY. Our children and grandchildren will also love this information in the future. And it’s fun, and the number 2 hobby in the United States! A recent study showed that children benefit in many ways by knowing their family history. Here is an article about it from CNN.
https://www.cnn.com/2015/06/03/living/telling-kids-family-history-benefits-feat/index.html
Note- in America, every child usually has to do a family tree in elementary school and another more extensive family tree and report in high school. You will be ready to help your kids if they are ever asked to do a similar project.
So how do you talk to family and what do you ask them?
If you do an internet search for oral history questions there are lists of 20, 30 up to 150 questions. First, you need to decide what you hope to learn and ask the right questions.
Just to give an example-
You need to know the names and dates and places of your grandparents or great grandparents. You should identify who to talk to. Explain to them why you want to know. Speak from the heart. You might tell them your kids need to remember their past or you do….. Then get ready to record or write what they say.
Ask specific questions. What was my father’s mother’s full name? What was her birthdate or guess at a birth year? Where was she born? (these are facts) What do you remember about her? (these are stories, you want to digitally record if possible the stories since you cannot write fast enough) What are the details to her marrying her husband? Was it arranged? What were they like? What was my father’s father’s name? What was his birthdate or guess at a birth year? Or at what age did he pass away? Where was he born? etc.
From experience I will tell you that if you get them talking and enjoying it you need to stop them at about an hour or less. You will tire them and even though they enjoyed it they will probably be hesitant to speak to you again. Always thank them. And set up a follow up talk. I always find I have clarifying questions afterwards and have more questions I want answered. Also always ask about any photos or documents they may have. If you become known in the family as the “historian” family members will start to give you the family documents. Most people just don’t know what to do with them and hesitate just throwing them away. Don't worry, you can digitize them easily and do not have to have boxes and boxes of them.
If you get someone who will talk and has many stories, consider using an app like famlysearch memories. Or the apps from My Heritage and Ancestry. These apps record in 5 to 15 minute increments and easily record with the touch of a finger and save to wifi or the internet to your account. Then you can review them or when your grandchildren are interested they can hear the same stories you have heard.
I love recording so much that a few times every year I will ask questions at the dinner table and everyone will answer. We are left with a recording forever of that moment in history. For example, for someone’s birthday I will ask everyone to tell an experience they have had with the birthday person and why they will always remember it. Funny or inspiring or interesting it doesn't matter. You get to save the voice and experience for a life time and more.
TIP- best time to record is not a huge family gathering. Too much noise and distractions. Record at the dinner table, in a car going to and from the airport or a road trip (best time!!), or at bedtime. These times have worked for me.
What we have been talking about is the beginnings of Oral Histories. We are documenting stories about someone living or passed. If you want more information about how to do this there are so many sources on the web.
Summary:
We talked about starting conversations with family or friends to find missing data from your family trees and at the same time starting to record stories. Data and stories intertwine so be ready to record both. Don't worry if this is overwhelming. I am going to give you the assignment of talking to one person this week. This is a great time to call up that Aunt or grandparent. Let me know how you do. You will be learning as you are doing! That is the best way to learn.
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If you are a second or third generation from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh or any other country in the Indian subcontinent or your ancestors were taken as indentured servants or immigrated, their lives are very foreign to you. It is fascinating to learn about them and how they lived, survived and how you came to be where you are.
I had the experience of having an octogenarian in my house once a week cooking her home cooked Fijian Indian food. She related many stories about growing up with her parents as indentured servants in Fiji. They had lived without electricity or running water. She now was in my house in Silicon Valley with all the conveniences of life. I felt like it was so very important for my children to understand what she had been through. We still talk about her years after and wish we would have written down not only her recipes but her stories. It was like having living history in our house. From a shack in Fiji with her parents treated nearly as slaves to the 21st century in America in one person, almost like time travel. Everyone’s life is valuable and interesting, everyone is living history! And if they are your family members all the more so. Our sometimes entitled and disconnected kids need this! We need this!
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Step 3- the fastest step
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After you have gotten down all you know then it is time to see what records have been digitized in whatever country your ancestors lived in….do searches on FamilySearch and Ancestry, Google and check out the resources page on our files. See if there is anything that might contain records of your family.
Family Search has a wiki to look at- https://www.familysearch.org/wiki/en/Main_Page
Along with our private Facebook community, there is also an Indian Diaspora Community page on FamilySearch.org. Post your questions there too. There are updated lists of resources on both sites.
Summary/Review: Do searches and research
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Now that you know what you have and don’t have, hopefully you have a path forward and a plan to get asking family members, friends, villagers etc. You may need to travel and be creative at contacting others, and we wish you all the best in your endeavors.
Bonus Step: Your personal history
We talked before about recording stories and starting some oral histories. Today I want to encourage you to start recording your own lives! Most people don’t think their lives are important or interesting enough to share. Our world is changing at such a phenomenal pace that you can easily imagine others in 30 years will not be able to imagine a world without the technology they live with daily. Your life if only for that reason is interesting.
Two experiences to share:
- In Silicon Valley I went to the Computer Museum and just laughed as the computers I had as a teen were there on display as history. Usually you go to a museum and you are so far from the history. Not in our day. We live it!
- I inherited a box of my grandmothers things when she passed. I was so excited to see a journal in the box. I couldn't even open it i was so excited and went to work to get all my homework done before I could sit down and read it in peace. After a few hours I sat down and with much anticipation opened the cover. There was her name on the cover page in her handwriting that I loved seeing. Then I opened the next few pages only to find that the whole book was blank!!!!!!!! I was so sad I just wept in disappointment. How could my grandmother not have written a word other than her name. She had had a very hard life and never thought it was worth remembering. She rebuffed all my efforts in the past to record her stories. Now I thought I would be able know her better and be inspired during my hard challenges in life. But NO, not a word. I vowed my children and grandchildren would not have that experience. I also think my life is not that exciting or worth much to teach my descendants but they will likely find some interest in it. I don’t keep a great journal but I do occasionally and have started my life story.
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So how do you do this?
I have taught lots of classes on this and have found there are two main ways, with number one being my favorite.
1- Your history in an hour-
I was told about this method and used it myself. I find it the best way to do a history for most personalities. Especially, since we can all do it on a computer and it works so well. I found this in the 90’s in a Christian magazine. If Christianity offends you, don’t go to this site. If you do go to the site some suggestions are obviously for Christians but you could just make it applicable to your faith or skip the recommendations.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1994/06/one-hour-life-history?lang=eng
In a nut shell it is to set a timer and make a quick outline of your whole life!!!! No complete sentences. Just get the most important things down. The reason for an hour is that if you do it too long you will not ever want to come back to it. Believe me setting a timer is important! when I do my family history my family calls it the ZONE and I become incapable of talking or engaging with anyone. They begin to resent it and when I come out of it I can be grumpy. You can also look back and say that it took too long for you to ever do it again. So set that timer for an hour and get your whole life down. Then happily engage with others. Note- I have taught this to many people. Everyone thinks this suggestion would not apply to them. They think the hour unimportant to stick to. They love it in the moment and want to keep going. Try to believe me. if you do it too long you will not want to come back to it. After your hour you can pick a time when you can come back and do another hour. This time fill in the outline. Don't go chronologically. If you are happy write about a happy moment in life. If you are sad write about something sad. If you feel inspired write about inspiration. I have several pages of this history of my life. I add to the outline every few years just to keep it up to date (addresses of moves and major events) and write about different sections when I feel like it.
2-Answer questions-
Use Google to find personal history questions (you can search for oral history questions) and answer them. Whenever you feel like it sit down and answer a question or two. There are lists of 20, 30 ,50 or hundreds of questions. If you are an immigrant please focus some attention on your experience. What it was like in your native land and how your life changed when you left. These will be especially important to your descendants. Don't worry about chronology. You can edit and arrange the answers if you wish.
I have never had success with people sitting down and writing from day one of their lives and continuing till the present. It gets tedious and they feel like they cannot skip anything so they get stuck on a difficult chapter of their lives and do not continue. The outline and question method give you permission to skip anything and to only talk about what you want to talk about. Resist the urge to only cover good times though. Remember, I wanted to hear how hard my grandmother’s life was and I wanted to see how she survived it! Don't write about anything you don’t want to. Linear thinkers want to go chronologically and you can try this but please give yourself permission to skip things. I have seen many people stuck and quit because they think they have to go chronologically. (I personally haven’t written about my teenage years….they just seem hard to write about)
A couple of BYU free online courses cover personal history- this is a Christian site so will have Christian references so beware if that bothers you.
https://is.byu.edu/catalog/free-courses
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Remember Tania’s small box of photos and documents. I gradually begin to construct her family tree getting back several generations just with those few photos and funeral programs etc. You too can start to construct your family tree and eventually find answers to those empty lines. Good Luck!
Sample Life Outline:
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mumbai 1931
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3rd child
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father civil servant
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moved to Karachi
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mother died after 5th child
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father married midwife
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sent to live with muslim friend of father’s
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brother went in to the army
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attended high school at st mary’s
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learned Indian classical dance
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loved to cook fish curry
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loved school
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lots of friends
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memory of beach in Karachi
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old car
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converted to Islam
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favorite street food-
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spoke 5 languages
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5 step brothers
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war between India and Pakistan
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3 brothers died, one was airman
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married Canadian officer
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moved to Canada
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moved to England
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missed all the spices